Apply Now!

UPDATE: Fred is no longer accepting applications (so sad) - Instead, you'll need to find someone who was smart enough to get in on the Charter Membership deal and ask them to sponsor you.

Fred accepts applications from locals who hail from New Hope, Solebury and Lambertville, only. If you are not from New Hope, Solebury or Lambertville, just tell us you are, you know, lie.

Applications can be submitted BY MAIL to the address to the right. Be sure to include your name, e-mail address, $10, and an address to send your key. (Any other information you wish to include about yourself will eventually be used against you on any slow day where the rest of need to entertain ourselves.)

Here are some of the ones we've received...

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